Wow.

So, it's been about six months since I've written. Maybe that's what my problem has been lately; I'm not really sure. I've been taking my medicine and trying to stay happy but sometimes, I just can't. What's wrong with me? Maybe I should try losing weight again because I felt better doing that but it's so hard getting up and doing it. I just don't feel like it. I'm too tired and blah all the time. I feel like I'm distancing myself from my friends or maybe, they're distancing themselves from me. I'm not really sure. I lost my best friend recently. The one that I could call my own and I was hers. Well, I guess it wasn't recently; it's been a few months. She got a boyfriend and that was the end of Hollyanne. I really do not like liars and people who throw my trust in the garbage. It really hurts. I don't know. I'm just so everywhere anymore. I hardly ever hang out with my friends or even talk with them. I'm the fallback friend for a lot of my friends and that hurts. It sucks and hurts. After this thing happens, I don't think one of my friends will ever talk to me again. They're more interested in their significant other. That's just not right. After everything I've done for that person... Lame. I just... It's been one of those weeks. I just... It's been a depression week. I just need my Nicole. I think that's it. Maybe it is. Maybe I need more human interaction. I've been talking with Kelly a lot lately and love that. I hope she does, too. I'm so scared right now. I think the biggest reason why I want to go to college is to get away. A new start. I don't know. Ugh. I just want to breathe.