Given Up

I've given up.
I've given up on just about everything.
I've given up on love.
I've given up on boys.
I've given up on the human race.
I've given up on people.
I've given up on music.
I've given up on anything that has given up on me.
I've given up on high school.
I've given up on the education system.
I've given up on teachers.


It hurts. I really can't take the pain much longer. Is it so bad that I want someone to hold me? Is it so bad that I don't want it just to be anyone; I want it to be someone. Is it too much to ask? Am I too horrible to be happy? I don't think I'm that bad of a person. I'm pretty typical but maybe not the right typical. I cry like other people but... Maybe I cry too much. I do cry a lot. I think I'm pretty... Maybe I'm not pretty enough. What did I miss out on that everyone else got?

Apparently, something is the matter with me.

I'm a daughter hiding her depression.
I'm a sister making a good impression.
I'm your friend acting like I'm fine.
I'm a teenager pushing her tears aside.
I'm the girl sitting next to you.
I'm the one asking you to care.
I'm your best friend hoping you'll be there.
I'm the lover keeping it all in.
I'm the singer who chooses not to shine.
I'm the player not using her abilities.
I'm in the corner wishing someone would come over and ask me what's wrong.
I'm waiting for 11:11 to make you my wish.
I'm your someone, wanting you to love me back.

Maybe I'll be alone forever.

I'm so lost.